


i've got an atlas in my hands

by inkk



Series: alphabet AU challenge [4]
Category: Bandom, Black Veil Brides
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Non-binary character, One Shot, Trans Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 21:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4721684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkk/pseuds/inkk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>D</b> is for <b>Dress</b>.</p><p>(In which Andy's full name used to be Andrea, but now it's Andrew for a reason.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i've got an atlas in my hands

**Author's Note:**

> first work in this fandom (yay!).  
> for the prompt "trans headcannon with andy biersack pls pls pls i need it more than i need air".
> 
> story title comes from the song 'Atlas Hands' by Benjamin Francis Leftwhich.  
> -  
> ((A/N: i personally imagine Ashley as a non-binary character?? just in case you were wondering where that tag came from.))

+

Andy _hates_ the dress.

It's silky and red, with puffy sleeves and a bulky taffeta skirt that flares out at his ribcage; at the grand age ten years old, it makes him look all of six. It's horrendous and poofy and girly and Andy despises it from the moment he sets eyes on the box.

"Andrea, just wear the damn dress!" his mother pleads, gripping her hair in apparent frustration. "It's only for tonight, baby. Just one night for a few hours and then you can go right back to t-shirts and shorts tomorrow."

She looks so desperate and harried that Andy eventually finds himself guilted into conceding, but a part of him feels like he's giving up when she leaves the room to let him change. Reluctantly pulling it out of its box and holding it out at arm's length, he glares miserably down at the fancy embroidered chest piece.

 _Just one night_ , he reminds himself. _Just one stinking cousin's wedding to make your mom happy._

It feels heavy and inconvenient when he finally slips it on, the fabric of the skirt slithery and cold over the bare skin of his legs when he walks.

"Just one night," he tells his reflection, blinking the tears away. "Just one night."

 

\+ + +

 

Andy _hates_ the makeup.

He hates dance and putting his hair up in a bun and the stupid, matching frilly skirts they have to wear, but the makeup is the worst.

Nevertheless, he sits stone-still on a stool in the bathroom as his mother cakes it onto his face.

"You're going to look so beautiful in the show tonight," she coos, dusting itchy white powder across his cheeks that makes him want to sneeze. "I can't wait to watch you girls dance," she sighs happily.

_Girls._

The word hits Andy like a blow to the solar plexus, but he forces himself to remain motionless as his mother reaches for the mascara. The words _'Just one night'_ echo trough his brain in stark relief. _Just one fucking dance recital to make your mom happy._

(Later - just fifteen before the show - Andy 'accidentally' falls from a riser backstage and breaks his arm. Unfortunately, he's unable to perform that night.)

 

\+ + +

 

"I want to cut my hair," he announces at one night as his mom is washing dishes in the kitchen.

"Oh, honey," his mother sighs, "It took you so long to grow out, though, don't you remember?"

"Yeah, but I still want to cut it. I think it's time for a change - I'm fifteen now, after all."

His mother shakes her head in clear disapproval. "I can't let you do that, Andrea."

"What?!" Andy protests defensively, "But it's _my_ hair!"

"Andrea!" his mother snaps, suddenly turning around with an angry expression. "I am your mother and you will do as I say! You're not cutting your hair, and that's final."

"But mom--"

" _No_ ," she interrupts. "I said no! I've gone along with your stupid _tomboy_ antics for too long, and I'm putting my foot down. For god's sakes, can't you just act like a woman for once in your life?"

Andy stumbles backwards as if he's been punched in the gut. "But Mom, I'm not--"

"Go to your room," she demands, cutting him off. Her voice is hard and cold - colder than he's ever heard it before.

"Mom, please--"

"Just _go_!" she raises her voice, turning her back on him, "I don't want to talk to you tonight."

Shocked, Andy runs upstairs to his bedroom, but not before ducking into his mom's office and snatching her scissors.

His hand trembles as he kneels in front of his bedroom mirror with the blades poised across a sizeable lock of hair. He's terrified of what his mother's reaction will be like when she finds out tomorrow morning.

As the first _snip_ breaks the silence and a chunk of soft, dark hair falls to rest on his lap, Andy catches his reflection looking calmly back at him with steely-eyed determination.

 _They can't break you_ , it seems to say.

 

\+ + +

 

 

 

_"Get out of my house!"_

 

 

 

\+ + +

 

CC pulls the apartment door open almost immediately after Andy finishes knocking, initially with a bright grin that abruptly fades to a concerned expression when he notices Andy's swollen, glassy eyes and the duffel bag over his shoulder.

"Oh shit," he says softly, shocked. "You wanna come in, man?"

"Is it alright if I crash on your guys' couch for tonight?" Andy asks quietly, shoulders slumping defeatedly as CC ushers him into the small apartment.

"Yeah, yeah, it's perfectly fine," CC assures him, pulling him in for a comforting hug. "Stay as long as you want, dude, you know me 'n Ashley love you to bits. You want something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine," Andy dismisses him. "Things just got kinda weird at home this morning. I'm pretty sure my mom'll let me back in a couple days, though."

"You want to talk about it?"

Andy simply shakes his head. "Not tonight."

 

\+ + +

 

'Tonight' turns into 'a few days', which turns into a week, which then turns into a month, which then eventually turns into half a year. CC and Ashley reassure him they don't mind his presence, and Andy starts paying his share of the bills.

"Have you, y'know, talked to your mom at all?" Ashley asks one night as they're sitting on the living room couch and watching _Say Yes To The Dress_.

Andy shrugs. "No, not really." (He hasn't - he showed back up at the house to gather some of his things a few weeks in, but she wouldn't even look at him.)

"Oh," Ashley says, "Well, okay." Then, after a moment, "I don't want to, like, intrude or anything, but... did your mom kick you out 'cause you're trans?"

Andy shrugs again. "I guess so. I'm gonna be eighteen next month, though, so it doesn't really matter anymore." He sighs. "I think I'm just gonna join some shitty-ass rock band and get as far away from here as possible."

Ashley reaches for the remote and mutes the television, turning to Andy with wide, thoughtful eyes. "We should start a band," he says. "You, me and CC, y'know?"

"Yeah, right, Mr. Fashion Designer," Andy scoffs. He rolls his eyes. "We'd never make it."

 

\+ + +

 

 

 

 

"Good evening, San Francisco!" Andy shouts into the microphone. Adrenaline is pumping through his veins like fire as CC plays a little drum fill and a crowd who loves them for who they are screams back in reply. "We're a little band called Black Veil Brides, and have we got a show for you tonight!" 

His grin is sharp and wicked as they launch into the first song, catching a quick flash of Ashley's dress out of the corner of his eye.

He's wearing makeup, but this time he doesn't hate it.

 

+

**Author's Note:**

> i still can't believe people actually read my stories, wow! thank you!  
> as always = kudos are amazing, and feedback is my friend! :)


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